Regression
by Mezzanine
Summary: New Series - close ties to original NGE series with some twists: Chapter 3 DONE!!!
1. Unveiling

Regression - Chapter 1: Unveiling (by Mezzanine)

>>>  
REGRESSION  
Chapter 1: Unveiling  
>>> 

Inside of the NERV Command Center, every technician and operative found themselves unable to tear their gaze from the main screen. Not in their worst fears had they ever considered they would one day be faced with the threat of the same thing they championed.   
Commander Ikari snapped off an order to Maya Ibuki, bringing her and the rest of the crew back to their senses.   
Disengage the pilot. Eject the entry plug."   
No response, Sir," she replied immediately. So quickly, in fact, Gendo wondered if she had perhaps already attempted to do so before his order. 

Enemy.   
Shinji Ikari stared in disbelief at the ominous black figure that rose over the sunset-scorched horizon. It was marching steadily towards him as he sat tensed in his entry plug. It was still at least a couple kilometers away, and although he couldn't make out many of its features at this distance, he was acutely aware of two glowing orbs that burned a hole straight into him.   
"It's... it's an EVA!" Shinji gasped.   
Eyes.   
Eyes of an Evangelion.   
Eyes of the enemy. 

"Correct," stated a stern voice over the comm channels of the three Evangelions, "that is your target."   
Commander Gendo Ikari watched the main view screen with a look of heavily muted discomfort, which was further masked by both the orange-tinted glasses he wore and the two white gloves on which his nose barely rested. To think that he would have to sacrifice a perfectly working Evangelion was unexceptable. While the thought of wasted resources aggravated him quite enough, it was overshadowed by the thought of wasted effort. While a fourth Evangelion at his disposal was not completely necessary, it was planned for, and his plan had now backfired. Not only was the unit lost, but he would be forced to make its loss, its destruction, complete. That was the thought that burned him the deepest. His own instrument had turned on him, and now he had to destroy it before it could do the same to him. 

"It... it can't be..." Shinji stammered, barely registering the confirmation he'd recieved from his father.   
Rei Ayanami blinked once, and looked down at her gloved hands gripping the control handles of Unit 00. She rubbed them slightly back and forth, and returned her sight to her target.   
"How could it have been possessed?" Asuka Sohryu whispered to herself. 

Lt. Ibuki tensed, expecting another order.   
Silence.   
"Sir?"   
Gendo sat absolutely motionless at his command desk. Had anyone dared to look at him at that moment, they would swear the sound had come from someone behind him as not even his response caused him to stir.   
"Continue the operation, Lieutenant," he spoke smoothly.   
"Sir," Maya nodded and continued monitoring the Evangelions as the rest of the crew followed suit and returned to their duties.   
Three against one odds did not make them feel any better. 

"But there's another kid in there!" Shinji protested, still staring at the marching black EVA. "Another kid just like me..."   
"Irrelevant," Commander Ikari shot back over the comm. "It is an angel. You will destroy the enemy."   
His words stung into the pilots brain. 'So cold,' Shinji thought, 'he doesn't even care, just like for me.'   
He jumped at the sound of Asuka's voice blaring over the comm. "You mean you _still_ don't know? The pilot of Unit 03 is... he's...", she faltered. 

>>> 

A memory jumped unbidden into Shinji's consciousness.  
  
"Toji's absent again, maybe it's him" Kensuke lamented. He only cared that it wasn't himself that would ride off to glory in a magnificent new Evangelion, ready to take on the worst enemies the world had ever seen.   
"Toji?" Shinji laughed, "I don't think so!".   
That's just crazy. Toji, an EVA pilot. After all he's been through, Toji wouldn't get caught DEAD in a... 

>>> 

Shinji's eyes widened, almost to the point where he could feel them strain. "Toji..."   
Asuka gave no verbal response, but Shinji could hear her confirmation as clear as day.   
"HOW COULD YOU?!?" Shinji screamed in his tube of LCL. It was a broad message, and though everyone in the Command Center heard it, the only person who did not acknowledge it was its intended recipient.   
"You heartless bastard! He never hurt anyone! He doesn't deserve this, you... you... MONSTER!! WHY?!?"   
Gendo simply stared, unmoving. He waited for the nearly inaudible murmur from the technicians below to stop.   
"I had a use for him." 

It was that moment that Evangelion Unit 01 turned at an alarmingly quick speed to face the direction of the Command Center. And its Commander.   
The pilot of Unit 01 was about to unleash a primal scream when he felt his neck tighten severely. The pressure sent waves of pain coursing through his body as Shinji grabbed at his throat reflexively. His vision from the cockpit swung around 180 degrees to meet the eyes of the black EVA. Those piercing eyes. Now that he could see closer, he realized with horror that the eyes were accompanied by a demonic, red-toothed grin.   
Its movements mimicking those of its pilot, the purple EVA grabbed at the wrists of the EVA-turned-Angel, but it was nearly impossible to fight back. Somehow, the Angel had imbued its host with the ability to elongate its arms to reach nearly three times their normal distance.   
The EVA was also granted extra strength, it would seem, as Unit 01 was hoisted high into the air. Unit 03 lifted its prey over its head and slammed it headfirst into the ground, shaking Shinji violently inside his plug. However, the invisible hands still choked him and he couldn't even reach up to hold his aching head.   
The possessed EVA jumped up and bore its weight down on Unit 01's chest with its knees. Shinji lurched forward in his entry plug as Unit 03 twisted its right hand sideways and siezed Unit 01's left wrist, thrashing it to the ground with so much force that it threw up a cloud of dust that easily covered both of the Evas.   
With one hand restrained, Shinji worked furiously to remove the one-handed choke from both his and his EVA's throats. He started to feel a finger pry loose from both necks when fire shot through his left arm. His right hand grasped his left arm tightly, causing him even to ignore his throat as he screamed through the choke. His mind was so deeply immersed in his pain that he never heard his father's order. 

"The Angel's attempting to merge with Unit 01! Nerve contamination spreading!" Lt. Ibuki yelled.   
"Sever the left arm immediately. We cannot afford to lose Unit 01," Ikari ordered, silently adding to himself '...as well'.   
"But Sir!" Maya protested. "The pilots nerve connections are still active!"   
Gendo spat out each word. "Cut... it... off!" 

Shinji's breath disappeared as his left arm exploded. He still felt it in his right hand, but at the same time it was gone. The pain finally broke his consciousness and he felt himself fade away. The last thing he heard before sinking into the blackness of his mind was a shrill warcry. 

"Unit 01's arm has been severed... pilot has gone unconscious," Ibuki stated darkly.   
The end of her statement was drowned out by a scream so loud it reverberated through the entire Command Center. 

"DIIIEEEE!!!" Asuka screamed as Unit 02 slammed into Unit 03 with enough force to knock it completely off of the ground. It didn't land as Unit 02 propelled the both of them straight into the wall of a cliff several hundred yards away. Rocks and debris rained down on the pair of Evas like a hailstorm, battering them both as Unit 02 drew back, Prog Knife in hand, and gouged deep into Unit 03's neck. Unit 03 wailed in pain as the sonic blade carved down its collarbone and towards its chest. The knife stuck in place in the hardened Evangelion armor, causing Unit 02 to yank its weapon free and prepare for another strike, aimed squarely at its face.   
Unit 03 siezed the opportunity and curled its knees up to its chest and shot both feet forward into Unit 02's abdomen. The red EVA toppled end over end and landed face down, dragging with it a hundred metres of earth as it skidded to a stop.   
Asuka cursed as she lifted her head in time to see the black EVA descending towards from high above. She barely had time to register two gleaming objects, one in each of Unit 03's hands, as she instinctively rolled away from her opponent.   
The attacking EVA landed in a hunch, both of its progressive knives digging into the ground in front of it where Unit 02 had just been. 'Shit!' Asuka thought, 'It's got mine and its own!'. Before she could continue that thought, red warning lights flashed from all directions inside her entry plug. She looked to her side as she dodged a full-on charge of two outstretched knives. The sparking end of a giant cable told her she only had five minutes to drop this Angel.   
But that Angel had Toji.   
She allowed herself only a split-second of concern as determination took over and she delivered a spin kick to Unit 03's midsection, causing it to lurch forward. Its leg still in mid-air, Unit 02 brought an arm down on the back of Unit 03's head. Asuka started to drop Unit 02's outstretched leg, but Unit 03 grabbed it with both hands, using the knives to dig into Unit 02's left thigh and calve, and spun about, throwing the red Evangelion towards the cliff.   
Asuka screamed in pain, flying through the air to slam back-first into the rocky wall, Unit 02's arms and legs splayed against its surface. With lightning speed, Unit 03's arms shot out, knives in hand, to stab Unit 02's hands to the cliff like nails on a crucifix. Unit 02 struggled in vain against the knives, which were buried to the hilt in the rock wall.   
"DAMMIT!!" Asuka yelled as she tugged at her restraints. Her face darkened when she saw the rogue EVA regard her for a moment, then turn to run towards where Rei and Unit 00 had been stationed on the other side of the cliff. Unit 02 kicked furiously at the cliff behind it, but the blinding pain in both of her hands prevented Asuka from concentrating, and with horror she watched Unit 02's activation time count down. 

"Activate the dummy plug system on Unit 01," Commander Ikari ordered.   
"But, Sir! The dummy plug has been fully tested yet! Dr. Akagi hasn't approved its use yet, Sir!" Maya replied, shocked.   
"Unit 01 is of no use with an unconscious pilot, Lieutenant. That is the purpose for which the system was designed. Activate the dummy plug system immediately!" 

Had Shinji been fully conscious, he would have noticed the light inside the entry plug change to a deep red hue, and he would also notice the mechanical droning of the dummy plug system activating behind him. As it was, he barely noticed the sound of the titanic beast in which he sat rising from the ground. Shinji was in a haze, a sort of walking dream. Only the most primal instincts buried in his mind were brought to the surface as he half-sensed the Evangelion walking slowly toward a huge black figure. It was hunched over an equally large blue one that was on the ground just as he was a minute ago. He felt the sensation of flying as the dummy-plug piloted Unit 01 charged towards what it recognized as its enemy.   
In his dream-like state, Shinji saw the black figure become halted in a death grip by what he thought was his own right hand. He squeezed tightly and felt the creature's neck snap. 

Unit 03's arms dropped limply to its sides as it wailed a death cry that would have shattered the ears of any human nearby. Luckily, the area was clear of both military personnel and civilians.   
"EVA Unit 03... I mean... target disabled, Sir," Aoba announced, half relieved but still quite tense.   
"Pilot lifesigns are all confirmed... including Unit 03's pilot," Lt. Ibuki sighed heavily. "We're getting a weak signal from external scans, but he's alive. Rescue crews are on the way, Sir," she added.   
"It works," Gendo Ikari grinned to himself.   
It would prove to be an fatal understatement. 

Unit 01 dropped the lifeless black form of Unit 03 to the ground. It slumped down onto its knees and fell over on its side, crushing a small patch of trees as it crumpled to the ground in a heap. 

"Pattern blue detected!" Maya exclaimed as warning lights flashed to life again in the NERV Command Center.   
"What?!?" Fuyutski yelled back. "Wasn't the Angel destroyed? Where is it?"   
Makoto Hyuuga stared in awe at the readout on the screen in front of him. He tapped a button without removing his gaze, and the image was posted to the main screen that looked over all of the Command Center. Previously motionless, Gendo Ikari leapt to his feet, kicking his chair to the floor.   
His glasses clattered to the floor.   
Over the intercom, a young girl's screaming was heard briefly, before it melted away to static. 

EVA Unit 00 delivered a solid punch directly into Unit 01's face before it had any time to react. The purple Evangelion staggered backwards several paces and almost fell over before regaining its balance. Then it came lunging forward, fixed on the single, blazing red eye of the now-posessed Unit 00...   
And missed its target completely as the blue EVA dodged by leaping several hundred meters into the air and landed in an all-out dash towards Unit 02. Unit 01 plowed head-first through a small forest and into and old concrete structure. The building collapsed on top of the Evangelion, and while it struggled to free itself by pushing aside the concrete blocks, another girl's scream could be heard. 

Asuka screamed as she saw the berserk Unit 00 charging towards her. She forced her EVA to kick at the cliff behind it and tug at the sonic knives buried in its palms.   
"Move, dammit! C'mon move!" she yelled at the EVA, and the right hand of the EVA began to slide away from the cliff, pulling the knife with it. Asuka grunted in effort and forced the hand out completely, her arm sagging tiredly. She then dug down with all of her strength and reached for the other knife and... felt the EVA shudder to a halt.   
"No! Not now!!" 

"Unit 02's power reserves have been depleted, Sir! Commander? Sir?!" Maya called back as she typed furiously at the controls. She hadn't noticed that all that remained of Command Ikari in the Command Center was a pair of orange-tinted glasses on the floor in front of his desk.   
Sub-commander Fuyutski called down to Lt. Ibuki. "Cancel the rescue attempts!Eject the entry plug, Lieutenant!"   
Maya paused briefly as she tried to figure out why the Commander had abandoned them at this dire time. She quickly returned to her orders, as Fuyutski was now the highest-ranking officer, and she was not about to abandon the task at hand. However, as she attempted to command Unit 02's plug to eject, her eyes widened and her face became pale.   
"Sir, Unit 02's entry plug is obstructed! We can't force eject it unless Unit 02 is moved, Sir!" she cried.   
"Well, then, order Unit 01 to target Unit 00! Before it takes over _another_ Evangelion!" Fuyutski ordered.   
There was a pause. A deathly silence hung over the Command Center.   
Aoba spoke up hastily "Unit 01 is not accepting commands, Sir! Emotional readings are off the scale... it's out of control!"   
Then the screaming started again.   
Fuyutski slammed his fist down on the table where Gendo Ikari had been sitting a few moments ago. "Then shut the system down! Disengage the dummy plug system, and re-synch with Pilot Ikari!"   
"But Sir... the pilot hasn't fully regained consciousness. If he's not able to defeat the Angel by himself, we'll have no choice but to engage Unit 00's self-destruct system!" Aoba replied nervously.   
"Wait!" Maya interjected, "Unit 01 has intercepted the Angel..." 

"Enemy," Shinji whispered as he felt the EVA lumber slowly towards the pair of Units 00 and 02. The blue EVA turned at shot a hand out towards Unit 01's throat, but Shinji felt as though he could see it happening in slow-motion. He effortlessly caught the blue hand and ripped it back behind him. The arm landed with a soft thud behind him and he grabbed the other Evangelion's shoulder, turning it to face him.   
"Stop it," he muttered lifelessly, as though he was talking in his sleep. His blurry eyes looked at the face of Unit 00 and stared at the red orb in its center.   
"Stop."   
Shinji grabbed the Angel before him by the throat and twisted. Unit 00 grabbed at its own throat with its remaining arm, but its strength was unable to overcome the dummy plug-controlled Unit 01.   
"Stop."   
Shinji felt his hands go numb and his heart started racing. Unit 00's neck gave way to a titanic crack and its arm dropped lifelessly to its side. With its one remaining arm, Unit 01 slammed its enemy head-first into the rock wall against which the silent Unit 02 stood. With a sickening crunch, the armored helmet of the blue EVA caved in on itself, and Unit 01 continued to thrust Unit 00 backwards against the cliff.   
"Stop." 

"Stop it, Shinji! You'll kill her!" Asuka screamed, although he couldn't hear her. She jerked at the controls of Unit 02, but couldn't move it. She couldn't even eject from the EVA or she would splatter against the rock wall behind her. 

"Sir, the dummy system's emotional readings are unreadable. It won't stop on its own!" Hyuuga yelled back to Sub-commander Fuyutski.   
Before he could respond, a voice boomed over the intercom. The voice was Commander Ikari.   
"Disengage the power supply on Unit 01! Shut off the dummy system now!"   
"Yes Sir!" 

Unit 01's power cable ejected and crashed to the floor. It continued its assault, however, and Unit 00's head was an unrecognizable stump of blue plating and blood. 

"30 seconds of activation remaining... but the Dummy Plug is not responding! The EVA won't accept the commands, Sir!" Aoba shouted over the crushing noise that registered in the Command Center over Shinji's intercom.   
Commander Ikari did not respond. All that could be heard in NERV Command Center was the sound of Unit 00 being destroyed, blow by blow, by Unit 01. Maya Ibuki cradled her head in her hands and rested it on her knees. Fuyutski stared at the floor, unable to watch any longer, as did many other NERV crew members.   
Shigeru Aoba and Makoto Hyuuga, however, looked at each other for a moment, and looked back at the main screen.   
"T-minus 15 seconds to Unit 01 shutdown." 

Shinji gasped and realized where he was.   
"What th... Rei?"   
He jerked at the controls instinctively to halt Unit 01's assault. It didn't respond. He stared a the image of Unit 00 before him, its head a bloody mass and its upper chest caved in from repeated blows from his EVA's right hand.   
"STOP IT!" he screamed. "What's going on?!? Why doesn't it stop!?! Father, stop this!" 

Gendo Ikari didn't hear him.   
Aoba continued to count down Unit 01's activation time. Each count was punctuated by the sound of a train wreck.   
"5..."   
*CRASH*   
"4..."   
*CRASH*   
"3..."   
*CRASH*   
"2..."   
*CRASH*   
"1..." 

EVA Unit 01's fist plowed deep into Unit 00's chest with such force that it nearly shook the cliff behind it. Shinji couldn't feel it, as he was no longer synched to the Evangelion, but he heard its fist strike solid rock.   
"STOP IT!!!" he screamed.   
The EVA obeyed. The whirring behind his head winded down to nothing, and all of the lights and warning signs in his entry plug vanished. Inside the now dark entry plug, Shinji curled his knees to his chest and sobbed. 

Asuka Sohryu sat motionless in her EVA, her hands still aching from the "wounds" she'd recieved when Unit 03 had nailed Unit 02 to the cliff.   
"I couldn't help." she sobbed quietly. "I couldn't do anything. I'm worthless." 

Inside NERV Command Center, time stood still. Everyone in room stared at the main view screen. Unit 02 stood against the cliff, one hand stuck to the rock with a progressive knife, the other grasping the knife by the hilt. Unit 00 stood further down the side of the cliff from Unit 02, its head almost completely gone, its one arm hanging limply at its side.   
Evangelion Unit 01 stood frozen with its right arm buried up to the forearm in Unit 00. Blood had splattered up the arm and spotted both EVAs' bodies. Several giant arms of different colors were strewn haphazardly around the area. 

Sub-commander Fuyutski barely found his voice and called down to the technicians below. "Status.. report?"   
"Unit 02 power levels at zero, pilot lifesigns nominal. Unit 01 has ceased activation. Dummy plug system inactive, pilot lifesigns in danger. Unit 03 still inactive, no signs of the Angel. Pilot lifesigns critical."   
"What about... Unit 00?"   
"U.. Unit 00... critical damage sustained... pilot lifesigns... pilot..." Maya shuddered.   
Hyuuga continued, his voice low, "Pilot lifesigns are unknown... Unit 00's entry plug has been breached... Sir."   
Fuyutski nodded slowly, "Send out the rescue teams now. Concentrate on EVA Unit 00 first."   
"Yes Sir." 

In the locker room of NERV HQ Section 83, the rescue team had only partially been readied when the order to stand down had come. Some of the members had continued to suit up, while others wait, not sure if or when they'd be needed.   
"I heard one of the EVA's went crazy and is attacking NERV!" one of the squad members said whispered loudly. "I'm not going out there until they're all shut down or gone."   
"Yeah, there might be bodies out there already... I don't wanna end up one of 'em!" his companion agreed as his adjusted his hazard suit.   
One squad member sat off to the side quietly, cinching his boots up. He quickly slid a small video recorder into one of the suit's many pockets and smiled to himself.   
Just then, a figure in a black vest strode quickly in and grabbed one of the squad member's gear. A quick glance at his insignia revealed that this was the LAST man to argue with, and the squad member walked sheepishly out of the locker room. The rest of the room went silent as Commander Ikari suited up.   
The squad member in the corner sighed quietly. 'It won't matter in the end. After all, he should be present when he's exposed to all of NERV...' 

"The rescue teams are enroute," Aoba told Fuyutski as he stood behind him. A grim air still hung over the Command Center, but the technicians had turned back to their work. Maya still sobbed silently at her desk as she typed away.   
"Very well," Fuyutski responded. He glanced over at Maya, who was hunched over her desk. He spoke quietly to Aoba, "Report when they reach Unit 00".   
"Understood." 

Misato Katsuragi lay on a medical stretcher, her head and arm bandaged heavily. To her right was a smoldering hole that, earlier that afternoon, had been a NERV testing facility. Repair crew members scurried about as if scavenging the wreckage for some sort of answer as to how the entire facility had been destroyed in a single blast. They all knew the answer, though. The thirteenth Angel had posessed an Evangelion, Unit 03 to be exact, and had laid waste to the test station completely before lumbering off towards NERV HQ.   
To Misato's left was a handsome young man whom, if no one else, she would awake for.   
"K... Kaji?" she managed to whimper, her head wincing in pain.   
A reassuring hand fell on her unbandaged left wrist. "Try not to move... you were unconscious when they found you..."   
"Ritsuko?"   
Kaji shook his head once and closed his eyes for a moment, managing a barely perceptible smile that seemed to be his trademark. "She wasn't hurt as bad as you. She was lucky," he said slowly.   
"What about... Unit 03?"   
The smile disappeared again from his face, leaving him with a grim expression that he tried to hide by turning away as she looked at him.   
"It attacked the other three EVAs near NERV HQ... Unit 01 managed to stop it, but..."   
Kaji felt a grip on his hand, and he looked over at Misato for a moment. She was facing the wreckage of the test facility.   
"I never told him, Kaji. I never even told him... I meant to... but..." Misato's voice started to crack.   
"He's fine... physically anyway. So's Asuka, and Suzahara will live, but he's in bad shape."   
"What about Rei?" she turned back to him.   
Misato had never seen Kaji's face so pale. He stared at the ground, unable to respond. She saw his head start to shake ever so slightly.   
"Oh God..."   
Kaji choked for a moment, then finally spoke, his voice a near whisper.   
"Unit 00 was contaminated by the Angel before it could be... destroyed..." he swallowed hard and stood up suddenly, looking out over the horizon. "They had no choice but to destroy the EVA. There's a rescue team on the way now."   
"Oh God... why, Kaji?" Misato gripped his hand tighter.   
Misato didn't hear the response he whispered into his chest.   
"Because the truth must be exposed... for the greater good..." 

The rescue transport had reached the top of the cliff where Unit 00 stood and had blasted a hole in the ground behind it. There, they had dug their way towards the back of Unit 00 in an attempt to reach the entry plug slot, or what was left of it.   
"I'm coming up on it now, Sir," one of the technicians announced loudly over the drilling equipment's grinding. Ikari stood directly behind him, watching unmoved. Everyone in the tunnel had noticed the abscence of his unmistakable orange-tinted glasses, but no one payed it any mind.   
Behind him was a technician who apparently had no current job, as he stood much like Gendo did, watching the drills bore through loose rock towards Unit 00. His hand was in one of his pockets, grasping a small recording device. 

In an empty black room far removed from Unit 00, twelve solid black monoliths were arranged in a circle. In the secret chamber of SEELE, one of the monoliths, labeled "01 Sound Only" spoke in a low, gravelly voice.   
"Now we shall see if our informant has performed his task. Once Ikari's plans are made public..."   
Another monolith chimed in with more of a nasal squeak than a voice. "... it will be impossible for him to stray from the scenario any further."   
A third monolith spoke. "Yes. It has become obvious that his agenda differs sufficiently from our own that he requires... adjustment."   
01 spoke again. "Indeed. Our plans will be realized soon." 

Chairman Keel, the voice behind 01, watched a small video screen, which at the moment was blank.   
"He will have no choice but to comply once his... side project... becomes public knowledge." 

"Contact!" one of the technicians yelled above the crumbling of rock.   
The tunnel suddenly opened up into a small cave, at the end of which was the massive bloody fist of EVA Unit 01. The walls of the cave were covered in gore and mechanical wreckage. At the bottom of this cave, up against the small pile of rocks that were being cleared away from the entry, was a mass of white-painted metal.   
"We've found the plug!"   
The NERV rescue squad member behind Ikari removed his video camera and switched it on. One of the other technicians, who had finished cleaning away the rubble from the cave entrance, shifted aside a large metal plate that had once been part of the entry plug of Unit 00.   
Beneath it was the mangled frame of a small girl. Blue hair, dyed a dull orange in spots from the LCL that had once filled the plug, partially covered her face. Her petite body was twisted into a horrible position, her arms bent backwards behind her body and one leg twisted to the side.   
Commander Ikari shoved aside the NERV technician before him and knelt down beside the body of Rei Ayanami. He brushed the soaked hair from her face with a gloved hand, and froze in place as he saw Rei's lifeless eyes staring up at the roof of the cave.   
"Don't feel bad, Ikari... maybe the third time's the charm..." a voice said curtly.   
Gendo Ikari's right hand balled into a fist as he stood and turned about to see a NERV rescue squad member holding a video recorder.   
"Now everybody knows, Ikari. EVERYbody knows." the squad member said flatly. 

Inside the NERV Command Center, an already exhausted crew jolted when the main view screen flashed for a moment. The tactical readout was replaced by a shaky view of a dark cave.   
"What the hell?" Aoba yelled. "Someone's feeding us video over a private connection!"   
"Where's it coming from?" Fuyutski asked, shocked.   
He didn't receive an answer from the technicians, and he didn't need one, for the image brought into focus the battered body of Rei Ayanami. 

"I'm supposed to tell you not to 'deviate from the arranged scenario', or something like that. But I think you get the mess..."   
*BANG*   
A single shot echoed through the tunnel. The squad member's camera fell to the floor and shattered. Its purpose had been served.   
Gendo Ikari replaced his small handgun to his vest and watched the man fall before him. His mind reeled as to what would occur now. How could this happen? Another spy? One that didn't report to him like Kaji did. No doubt he had transmitted the footage back to NERV. Everyone in the Command Center now knew of Rei's death. 'Second death,' he reminded himself loathingly. This had happened before, but that time only one knew, and she had been disposed of accordingly. He could not hide Rei's nature from those who served him any longer.   
He looked back at Rei's body, still untouched since he'd stood up to face the conspirator. No one in the tunnel had moved since he'd shot him. Ikari then turned away, walking back through the tunnel towards the surface. The NERV rescue squad stood motionless as he passed by, not even bothering to ask him for orders.   
"Clean up this mess. It is none of my concern any longer."   
With that, Gendo Ikari left the tunnel. No one watched to see where he walked, as the busied themselves cleaning the remains of Unit 00's entry plug from the cave.   
That was the last any of them saw of Commander Gendo Ikari. 

**************  
AUTHOR'S NOTES  
**************  
  
Whew! Never thought I'd finish this!  
OK, I know this is starting of pretty grim. The reasons for that are:  
A) I wanted to write something as unWAFFy as possible (for the moment), and  
B) It had to start this way without sounding really contrived  
  
C&C is ABSOLUTELY welcome. The more the better, please ^_^ And don't worry,  
it'll cheer up a bit next chapter. After all, with Old Gendo gone, the world's  
a better place, right?  
  
Right?  
  
-Mezzanine (last of a dying breed, fan of Maya Ibuki)  
dubiousbw@msn.com  


A NEON GENESIS EVANGELION fanfic.  
Rights belonging to GAINAX and AD Vision.  
Used without permission.  



	2. Blameless

Regression - Chapter 2: Blameless (by Mezzanine)

>>>  
REGRESSION  
Chapter 2: Blameless  
>>> 

Ryoji Kaji could not hide the shock that still registered on his face. He kicked himself mentally for breaking one of the strict professional guidelines he'd set for himself: "Never get too close". Sure, that was unavoidable with Katsuragi. She predated his current position, and Lord knows he'd tried to distance himself from her. Deep down, though, he knew he could never leave her without hurting her.   
He couldn't stay without causing harm, either. That was why he'd been so hesitant to come back into Misato's life. Sooner or later, someone would get hurt. He hoped it wouldn't be her, and he'd tried his hardest to see that they gained knowledge of the truth together, without exposing Misato or anyone else he cared for to the cruelty that was espionage.   
He didn't know it would mean losing Rei.   
Kaji softly brushed his hand across Misato's bare left arm. When she'd heard that Rei Ayanami had been killed in her EVA, she'd stayed silent for what seemed like an eternity. Her face betrayed her calm, however, and tears had already welled up in her eyes. Kaji had placed his hand in hers, and she'd finally given out, sobbing softly with her head buried in her shoulder. He'd followed her into the back of the ambulance, where the two of them now sat. The ambulance was now miles away from the wreckage of the NERV test facility, although the commotion had not died down around NERV HQ.   
Kaji noticed Misato's sobbing slow and disappear. He looked back down at her to find her pleading eyes, swollen and red, looking up at him.   
"Why, Kaji?" she asked.   
He gripped her hand tightly. "I don't know," he said solemnly.   
Misato rested her head gingerly on its side and closed her eyes.   
Kaji watched her fall asleep in the stretcher as the ambulance pulled up to the NERV hospital loading bay. He held her hand up to his lips for a moment, then let her go quietly as the doors swung open and two white-suited men started moving her out in the stretcher. His mind was churning with the information he'd managed to piece together.   
He knew something like this would happen eventually. With his attentions on Kaji, Commander Ikari had not noticed a second spy in his midst. Kaji had caught wind of it, though, and his superiors at SEELE had warned him not to interfere. That the new mole's assignment was "independent" from his own. He'd heard the broadcast over the radio equipment that dotted the aftermath of EVA Unit 03's escape, but it didn't make sense at all.   
"Now everybody knows, Ikari. EVERYbody knows." 

>>> 

"He's hiding the truth from everyone," the young man stated quietly, trying not to attract any more attention. He stared into a styrofoam cup of coffee and let the small whisps of steam curl up his rough face.   
"Tell me something new, Minoka," Kaji half-jested.   
"I know what he's hiding."   
Kaji stared back at Ryo Minoka. The bruise under his left eye caused Minoka to wince slightly as he grinned.   
"And what's that?" Kaji said.   
The other man grinned wider.   
"That everyone under Ikari is replaceable," he looked up at Kaji abruptly, "Some more so than others."   
The man rose to his feet slowly and picked up his black leather jacket, draping it over one shoulder. Kaji rose with him and grabbed his other shoulder firmly.   
"What's that supposed to mean?" he said brusquely.   
Minoka didn't look back at him. "Wasn't the eye enough, Ryoji? Or do you want to hurt me more?"   
Kaji let go reluctantly, not removing his gaze from Minoka's head. The man turned to face him, a serious look now on his weathered face.   
"If this is a play for turf, I'm warning you," Kaji said through clenched teeth.   
"Not at all. We all serve our purpose. We seek the truth, for the greater good." Minoka stated calmly.   
Kaji did not move. "And?"   
"And I'm prepared to do so at any cost, Agent Kaji," he said. His eyes seemed to darken as if all the light in the room refused to touch his face. "Are you?" 

>>> 

"Now everybody knows, Ikari..."   
That Rei's dead? Why? That was grim news that no one in all of NERV wanted to hear. They would have heard sooner or later, but Minoka had been on the scene... as if he'd been expecting it. But why would SEELE want Rei dead? Without her, Unit 00 was without a pilot. 'What's left of Unit 00', he corrected himself.   
What was it about Rei? 

In holding bay #4, deep inside NERV HQ, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi paced absent-mindedly around the catwalk. The huge crimson face of EVA Unit 02 bore down on her. Ritsuko was grateful to be well enough to return to work, but she could hardly concentrate.   
Rei II had been killed. This news had struck her hard, but not as hard as the fact that everyone in NERV knew this as well. It would be literally impossible to contain this situation now, and would be equally impossible to 'activate' Rei III and integrate her back into the project. That is, it would be impossible to do so without compromising the integretiy the project in the process.   
'The Human Instrumentality Project,' she thought to herself. What would happen to his agenda now that Ikari had disappeared? Would there be an agenda at all any more? He'd left no letters of resignation, no final orders, and no clue as to where he was headed. She knew why he'd left, though. At least, she thought she did. Whoever that NERV technician was, he'd purposely shown all of NERV that Rei was dead. He obviously knew about Rei's true nature, and had done so to prevent Ikari from using her any longer without exposing the truth.   
And he'd said something else, about "the arranged scenario". Was he working for SEELE, then? If they had a mole that knew about this, why not just use the information themselves? Why force Ikari into a corner? Ritsuko's head swam with all the questions that assaulted her mind. The most important one was obvious, though.   
"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked her self aloud.   
By the elevator, she heard a muffled thump as the doors slid open. Supporting a bandaged Major Katsuragi on her shoulder, Lt. Maya Ibuki shuffled out onto the catwalk.   
"Are you... sure you're OK?" Misato wheezed.   
"Yes, Ma'am, I'm fine... here, you can sit down over here," Maya said and walked Misato over to a small metal chair. Katsuragi sat down slowly as Maya walked over to one of the terminals and returned to work.   
"Why are you out so early?" Ritsuko said flatly.   
Misato chuckled softly and coughed for a moment. "They got tired of hearing me complain about returning to duty," she said. "Nice to see you, too, by the way."   
Ritsuko looked back at her for a moment before replying, "Sorry. Way too many problems right now."   
Misato nodded somberly.   
"Besides the EVAs that at least can be repaired," she went on, "Unit 00 is beyond the Heindflick limit. Unit 03 is in workable condition, though, and we're putting it into cryo-stasis pending preliminary examination. From what we can tell, though, 100 percent of the Angel's DNA has been removed. The MAGI are currently running a high-level scan of the surrounding area for traces of the Angel, but so far they haven't detected anything. With no active being for it to control, it's highly possible that it simply dissolved. The same goes for contamination in Unit 00, but there's no point in trying there."   
Ritsuko paused for a moment, looking back up at Unit 02's silent visage.   
"That, and we don't have a pilot for the time being."   
Misato cringed, but looked at Ritsuko. "For the time being? She's gone, Ritsuko."   
Dr. Akagi was silent for a minute. Maya's typing provided the only sound in the titanic chamber. Misato looked down at her lap.   
"I know she's gone, Misato. So is the Commander."   
"What?"   
Misato looked back up at Ritsuko, as did Lt. Ibuki. Ritsuko sighed quietly.   
"He left after he shot the man with the video recorder. No one saw where he went after that. By that time, it was dark outside already, and everyone was concerned with the rescue attempt for Pilots Ikari, Sohryu and Suzahara."   
"Th.. then who's in charge, Ma'am?" Maya asked hesitantly.   
Misato answered for her. "Sub-commander Fuyutski is in command by default, Maya."   
"But why did Commander Ikari leave then, Major?"   
"No one but the Commander knows that, I'm afraid," she said.   
'This is it,' Ritsuko thought. 'His plans are in ruins, so rather than work for SEELE he abandoned everything.'   
"How are the pilots, then, Dr. Akagi?" Maya asked.   
Her question snapped Ritsuko out of her thought. "Shinji and Toji are still under medical care. Both have been upgraded to stable condition. Asuka hasn't spoken to anyone since we finally removed her from Unit 02. She refused to check into the hospital, so we think she headed home."   
Misato nodded. "I'm going to go check on Shinji and Toji," she said as she rose to her feet. "Asuka won't go anywhere."   
She hoped she was right. 

Misato Katsuragi's apartment was dark and silent as the door slid open. Asuka Sohryu stepped inside slowly, her steps heavy as her feet dragged across the floor. She neglected to turn on the lights as she headed for her room.   
"Misato?" a voice called.   
"K-Kaji?" she replied slowly.   
Kaji sat up from the couch in the living room. "Oh, Asuka... you got out awfully quick," he said into the dark.   
Asuka flicked on a light in her own room, spilling light into the living room through her doorway. Her shadow stretched across the otherwise dark apartment. The shadowy form that played across the floor stood with its hands on its hips defiantly, but as Kaji traced it back to Asuka's door, he saw the shadow did not reflect her red-streaked face.   
"I told them I didn't need any help." she said, her voice trembling. "It's not like I did anything out there, anyway,". She coughed quietly, doubling over in her doorway.   
Kaji got up from the couch quickly and rushed to her side, helping her up. She didn't look at him, but she barely moved as he draped her slim body onto her bed. He knelt down beside her, watching her settle into place.   
"Looks like you should've stayed, Asuka," he said quietly.   
She coughed again before looking out her window. "Why are you here, anyway?"   
"I'm waiting on Katsuragi. They said she'd been released and was heading home, but I'm guessing she went to check on Shinji and Suzahara first," he explained.   
Asuka's pale white frame tightened into a ball at the mention of Shinji. "How could he do that? He didn't stop, that idiot! What's *cough* wrong with him?" she whimpered.   
"It wasn't his fault, Asuka. He wasn't in control of Unit 01 when it happened."   
"I know that," Asuka shot back. "He could've stopped it if he wanted. I'd never lose control of my... EVA..." she shuddered as she started to cry again.   
"It's not your fault either, Asuka. You did all you could."   
"I'm useless, Kaji. I couldn't help at all. I'm worthless. The Invincible Shinji triumphs over Asuka once again..."   
Kaji was quiet for a moment. Her words stuck home, that much he knew. He should've been on watch for something like that to happen, but he could never have prevented it.   
"No, you're not. If not for you, Shinji might not have made it as well."   
"What about Rei?" she whimpered. "Could I have helped her, too? And that idiot Suzahara? After all, that's what I'm here for, right? To save everyone else..." she sobbed and curled tighter on her bed.   
Kaji laid his hand gently on her shoulder. She stopped sobbing for a moment, but didn't look up at him.   
"They'd do the same for you, Asuka. So would I, if I could."   
Asuka rolled over to face Kaji and heaved herself painfully to her knees. She let her weight fall into Kaji and draped her arms over his shoulders. He could only pat her back soothingly as she continued to sob into his chest. He heard her muffled voice ask something between sobs.   
"Is Ayanami really gone, Kaji?"   
He let his hand fall to his side. Asuka pulled away and looked up at his face.   
"Maybe not, Asuka," he whispered. "Maybe not..." 

The hospital hallways were all but empty at this time of night. Even at NERV, patients needed their rest. Althought there had been a sudden influx of patients after the disaster at the NERV test facility, it was nothing out of the ordinary for a city that received injured residents every hour. Misato Katsuragi's heels clicked hollowly on the tile floor. The dimly lit hall stretched on forever, but she knew its depths quite well. After all, this was one of the places in NERV where she seemed to spend most of her time.   
She stopped at an open door and peered inside to see two hospital beds lit only by a single humming cieling light. In each bed was the form of a young boy. One of them seemed to be sleeping, while the other stared out the window, listening to a small portable headset.   
Misato knocked on the open door quietly, and Toji Suzahara looked over in her direction from his hospital bed.   
"Hey... Miss... Major Katsuragi," he said weakly.   
"Hey, Toji," she said quietly. "How are you feeling?"   
"Like my head's in a vise," he winced. "But I'll live... I'm more worried about Shinji over there."   
Misato walked over to Shinji Ikari's bed and knelt down beside him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.   
"Shinji... you ok?" she said.   
He didn't answer.   
"Shinji?"   
Misato got up carefully and walked around to the other side of his bed. Her face drained of color as she looked at him, though, for his eyes were blank and lifeless, staring out the window.   
"Shinji?" Misato said, louder this time.   
She looked down at the S-DAT player on the bed at his side. It was off.   
"Shinji!"   
The room was deathly silent. What seemed like hours passed.   
"Stop," he whispered. "Stop..."   
Misato looked at him fearfully. "Shinji, speak to me!"   
He did not so much as acknowledge her presence.   
"Stop..."   
Misato yelled towards the door to the room and slammed her palm onto the small white button above his bed.   
"Somebody help!"   
A pair of nurses walked briskly into the room. One of them carried a syringe of what Misato guessed was some sort of sedative. She walked quickly over to Shinji's bedside and rolled him onto his back. She checked his eyes, felt his pulse for a moment, then looked at the chart at the foot of his bed. The other carried a small flipboard, and it was this woman that looked at Katsuragi for a moment before responding to her pleading stare.   
"What happened... Major, is it?" she asked calmly.   
"He's... he's..." she stammered, at a loss for words.   
As the first nurse injected the sedatives carefully in Shinji's arm, she though she heard a low whisper, but as she looked at him, his eyes had closed peacefully. She stood gently and walked to her companion.   
"Stress-induced hysteria," she stated plainly with barely a hint of regret in her voice.   
The second nurse nodded, jotting something down on her flip chart. "Stay here and monitor him, but don't administer any more sedatives, or he'll never wake up," she said in a slight jest. Misato shuddered noticably at that remark and stood to leave.   
"You'd better get some rest yourself, Toji," she said as she walked past him. He grunted softly in compliance and closed his eyes. As Misato left, the scratching of the nurses pen drowned out the barely audible whisper that came from Shinji's pillow.   
"Help me... Asuka... help me..." 

Professor Kozo Fuyutski had to laugh at the current situation presented to him. Fate, apparently, was not without a sense of irony. He had never expected the Old Men to get the best of Ikari, but when they finally did, he'd thrown both of their agendas to the wind simultaneously. SEELE no longer had their carefully-crafted puppet in NERV's Commander, and NERV no longer had a 'Puppet Master', so to speak.   
And so, Fuyutski sat and contemplated his predicament. His desk had already become covered in the various letters and paperwork that had accumulated over a mere 24-hour period. It seemed the outside world had no problems submitting requests and complaints to a new head of NERV, no matter how temporary and questionable his position might seem.   
For some time now, he'd wished that Ikari would finally realize that he'd gone too far. That he'd overstepped his authority by using the lives of his fellow human beings as currency. But Fuyutski had never wanted to be in his shoes, let alone thrust into them at a moments notice, surrounded with a dangerous situation and more than a bit of controversy.   
And yet, here he was. At the helm of NERV, for better or worse.   
"Commander Fuyutski?"   
'Just worse, I guess,' he thought to himself.   
"Yes? What is it?" he replied as he saw Lt. Ibuki standing at the door to his office. He was not about to trade in his modest office for that concert hall of an office Gendo had recently spent so much time in. He found that being more easily accessible to the NERV staff helped things run more smoothly, anyway. "Ahh... Lieutenant," he started.   
"I have Dr. Akagi's preliminary reports on EVA Unit 03, Commander Sir," she said, producing a small manila folder stuffed with notes.   
"Very well," he said.   
"She believes that, using the current repair budget, we will be able to restore Unit 03 to combat status by the end of this week. All tests to detect presence of the 13th Angel have been negative. It is Dr. Akagi's recommendation that we begin work immediately in order to replace Unit 00," she read.   
"What is Unit 00's status?" he asked.   
Maya gulped quietly and continued. "Without a pilot, Dr. Akagi believes repairing Unit 00 in unnecessary at this time. She recommended placing it in cryo-stasis for the time being, pending deconstruction."   
"Deconstruction?"   
"Yes, Sir. The costs of regenerating Unit 00 is well beyond our proposed repair budget. Dr. Akagi noted that, if possible, some of the parts and technical systems from Unit 00 could be used in the repairs of Units 01 and 03."   
Fuyutski grimaced slightly at that thought. "One for the other, eh?"   
"Sir?"   
He shook his head. "Never mind, Lieutenant. Inform Dr. Akagi that she will begin the repair of Unit 03 immediately, as recommended. On that note, what is the current position of Unit 03's pilot?"   
"Pilot Suzahara's condition is stable. He suffered a mild concussion, but he will be released tommorow afternoon pending examination."   
"I meant, will he continue to pilot, once Unit 03 has been completed?" he said.   
"I'm... not sure, Sir." Maya said, confused.   
Fuyutski nodded. "Anything else to report, Lieutenant?"   
"Yes, Sir. As a final note, Dr. Akagi has recommend discontinuing use of the dummy-plug system until further notice."   
"I couldn't agree with her more, Lieutenant Ibuki. Have the dummy-plug removed from Unit 01."   
"Yes, Sir."   
Commander Fuyutski waved a hand dismissively. "That's all for now, Lieutenant. Dismissed."   
"Yes, Sir." she said, setting the manila folder gently on top of the mountain of paperwork before him. As she turned to leave, she stopped in place, lost in thought.   
"Something wrong, Lieutenant?" he asked calmly.   
"Permission to speak freely, Sir?"   
Fuyutski nodded solemnly. "Of course, Maya."   
She hesitated for a moment.   
"Sir, you knew the Commander better than any of us," she said slowly. "Why would he leave so suddenly?"   
Fuyutski didn't respond for a moment, regarding Maya carefully. "His past has caught up with him, Maya. A man can only run so far..." his voice trailed off.   
"I see," she said. She quickly shifted back into Lieutenant Mode. "I will keep you informed on Unit 03, as well as its pilot, Sir."   
"Thank you, Maya. Carry on."   
With that, Lt. Ibuki turned on her heel and left.   
Once again alone with his mountain of paperwork, Fuyutski laughed again to himself. "The Old Men finally got what they wanted. I'll bet they're having a field day..." 

In the hollow chamber of SEELE, an almost palpable air of anger seemed to hang over the twelve assembled monoliths.   
"This was not the desired result," 01 seethed.   
"It was foolish to think that Minoka would accomplish his task accordingly." 03 said emphatically.   
"Precisely. Agent Minoka was ordered to return to us with his full report, not to attempt to expose his findings to NERV itself."   
"However, the temporary loss of Ikari is overshadowed by the knowledge that side "side project" has been derailed, permanently."   
"That has not been determined, yet," 01 responded, regaining some composure. "Measures must be taken to ensure this... violation of the scenario does not reassert itself by other means."   
"Without Ikari, though, we have lost a great deal of influence within NERV," monolith 07 spoke up.   
"True, but other venues are still available to us."   
"It would be unwise not to pursue Ikari, given the amount of resources and time we have invested in him."   
"Correct," 11 said dryly. "On that matter, another of our investments is now unbound and loose within NERV."   
"Agent Kaji must be dealt with," 04 said. "He was warned not to interfere with Agent Minoka..."   
"But if he has gained knowledge of Ikari's project..."   
"Let him be for now," 01 spoke. "Given the nature of Ikari's... project... it is unlikely he has the necessary resources to continue Ikari's work. In fact, he may be of use to us still."   
The twelve monoliths vanished with the sound of a gust of wind, leaving the black chamber empty once again. 

Inside Misato Katsuragi's apartment, Ryoji Kaji cupped his hands around those of the beautiful yet exhuasted woman that sat opposite him. Seated at her kitchen table, the first lights of dawn began to stream across the floor.   
"What do you MEAN you knew about this?" she said, barely restraining her voice. "You didn't tell anyone? You didn't try to stop it?"   
Kaji pressed his hands tighter around hers in an attempt to calm her. "I said I knew about the man with the camera. I didn't say I knew what his assignment was."   
Misato felt on the verge of tears again. She'd lost track of just how many times she'd cried recently. The loss of Rei. Shinji's condition. Her heart was aching, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.   
Kaji continued, still firmly holding her hands together on the table. "I don't think he planned on what happened to Rei or Unit 00. However, he did find out something about Rei that the Commander didn't want us to know, and he took the opportunity to expose it. I certainly don't agree with his methods... I never did..." he stopped for a moment to sip from the mug of tea he'd fixed himself. He rubbed the knuckles on his right hand idly, lost in thought for a moment.   
"Rei..." Misato whispered, holding back her tears through sheer will.   
"Rei may still be alive, Misato."   
She froze in her seat. "How? Ritsuko performed an autopsy herself and reported that she'd been... gone... an hour before the team got there."   
Kaji shook his head slowly.   
"Ritsuko knew about it, too, Misato. She was under the Commander's orders not to report anyone outside of himself and Professor Fuyutski on anything regarding Ayanami." he said calmly.   
"B... but how can she still be alive, Kaji?"   
"Because there's more to Rei than we'll ever know, Major Katsuragi." he said solemnly, looking back into her wide eyes. "But what we DO know could save her life..." 

  
**************  
AUTHOR'S NOTES  
**************  


OK, folks, here you go. As promised, things are a hair lighter. I plan on keeping this sort of tone for the time being and letting things change naturally, but people tend to forget sometimes that NGE _IS_ rather dark. That doesn't mean, of course, that I'll have a main character die every other episode or something just to keep the tears flowing. Given Rei's, *ahem*, nature, her loss isn't as extreme as most characters, suffice to say that this series will go on for a while. I may not be updating as often after this week, but I'll keep them coming quickly as I can. Promise! 

C&C, again, is most welcome. Feel free to email me directly, if you want, but I prefer the reviews, mmkay? ^_^ 

Final note: I'm trying to keep the formatting simple, but whenever I upload straight-text FF.Net deletes all of my TABs, so I uploaded Chapter 1 as HTML, as I'm doing with this one. Anyone with suggestions on how to keep my style and still use text, please let me know (email direct though) See ya! 

-Mezzanine  
dubiousbw@msn.com  


A NEON GENESIS EVANGELION fanfic.  
Rights belonging to GAINAX and AD Vision.  
Used without permission.  



	3. "You only hurt the ones you love..."

  
REGRESSION  
Chapter 3: "You only hurt the ones you love..."  
  
  
A voice traveled through the emptiness, watery, distorted...  
I am your enemy, Shinji Ikari.  
"No... you're not the enemy."  
I am your enemy.  
"Why?"  
His word is my law. I am his to command.  
"Father!"  
Silence.  
"Father, you did this to Rei! You did this to Toji! Why?"  
"I had a use for him."  
"You used them! Just like you used me!"  
Just like you used us, Shinji Ikari.  
"What? No I didn't! I didn't want to hurt you! Father... made me..."  
You used me, Shinji.  
"Rei! I don't... Rei, come back!"  
  
Shinji reached out for the figure's pale white hand, but it slipped away. As he looked at his own hand, he saw it drenched in blood. Blood covering a white glove.  
  
"Rei!"  
  
As he looked at his hand, horrified, he realized he was wading in a pool of LCL... he looked down at the pool... and saw a bearded face behind orange-tinted glasses. He screamed into the black void, fear gripping at his mind as he heard his own father's voice in place of his own.  
  
"Rei!! NO!!!"  
  
  
  
On the ride back to Misato's apartment, Shinji was completely silent, as was his driver. Shinji felt weak as it was, and could barely muster the strength to look out the window of the car as it passed through the city. Misato pulled up around the final corner before her apartment, and finally managed to say something.  
  
"It wasn't your fault, Shinji."  
  
He didn't respond.  
  
"Shinji..."  
  
"She's dead, Misato. And I killed her... I had to," he finally said. His voice was full of resignation and sorrow that Misato was taken aback, unable to look at him.  
  
The car was silent once again. The early morning sun streamed through Shinji's window, leaving Misato facing a darkened silohuette of her charge. They continued in a forced silence until the car reached the parking lot for Misato's complex.  
  
"I should've died..."  
  
  
  
The NERV hospital room was deathly silent, especially so for 0300 hours. Only small streams of light scattered across the room from the window by Shinji's bed. The sharp light seemed to cut the room to pieces, dividing the bed and the floor into jagged pieces. The only motion in the room was a fluttering page of Shinji Ikari's medical chart, which lay at the foot of his bed.  
  
The young boy lay stretched out on the bed, one bare arm at his side, and the other draped over his abdomen. Had his eyes not been fixed on the cieling, one would think him to be peacefully asleep. His chest barely rose with breath, and not a single muscle twitched.  
  
Then, he whispered to the darkness.  
  
"Rei..."  
  
The nurse's scalpel, clutched in his pale left hand, inched closer to his right wrist. Neither his expression nor his position changed as the blade touched his bare skin. In the hall, a light set of footsteps echoed past his door.  
  
"I used you..."  
  
As the small blade started to break the boy's skin, he felt his arm twitch involuntarily.   
  
"I had to..."  
  
The footsteps in the hall grew louder, until Shinji finally let his eyes fall over the doorway. A demure nurse walked casually by, carrying an armload of medical supplies and humming to herself.  
  
Shinji looked back at the cieling once she passed, and froze in place.  
  
"I'm... nothing... no one cares anymore."  
  
A small drop of blood landed on the bed. It was followed by a salty tear, which in turn was followed by another. Then finally, the nurses scalpel fell to the floor.  
  
"Not even worth... dying..." Shinji whispered.  
  
  
  
"Don't say that, Shinji... You shouldn't die, and neither should Rei."  
  
Misato grabbed Shinji's shirt collar, turning him to face her. She wore an odd expression, half annoyed, half relieved.  
  
"Things change, Shinji," she said as she opened her door. "Come on."  
  
  
  
Shinji Ikari stood before the door of Misato's apartment wearing his plain school uniform. His eyes had not left the floor in front of him since he'd left Misato's car. Misato stood beside him, looked at him for a second, took a deep breath, then pressed the intercom by her door.  
  
"One moment..." responded a quiet, almost tired voice.  
  
Shinji's breath left him. He stood, paralyzed in place. The door slide open and revealed a pale young girl wearing a school-girl's uniform. As Shinji's gaze found a pair of red eyes staring back at him, time seemed to stand still.  
  
Misato managed a smile and placed a hand on Shinji's shoulder comfortingly.  
  
"It's really her, Shinji."  
  
"It... it can't be... Rei?"  
  
Rei Ayanami, First Child, nodded once.  
  
"Ayanami!" he exclaimed, already in tears, as he fell forward and wrapped his arms tightly around her slight frame.  
  
"Pilot Ikari... I am glad to see... that you are well," she stated.  
  
Shinji gripped her tighter, his head resting on her shoulder. "I... I thought you were dead..."  
  
"That is correct, Pilot Ikari."  
  
Shinji paused and pulled back, regarding her for a moment, then looking perplexedly at Misato. She only gestured them into her apartment and closed the door behind them.   
  
  
  
  
Asuka and Kaji were seated next to each other at Misato's kitchen table. The young red-head was leaning up against the older man tiredly while he was reviewing a small red notebook. Across the table sat Ritsuko Akagi, her hands folded in front of her. As Shinji walked slowly into the apartment, his eyes were still fixed on Rei. Everyone elses' eyes, save Asuka's, were on him.  
  
Kaji stood up, letting Asuka slump quietly to the table. "Welcome back, Shinji! How're you feeling?" he grinned a bit. "You look like you've seen a ghost..."  
  
Ritsuko glared at Kaji. "Please... you of all people should realize the seriousness of this."  
  
Asuka spoke up, lifting her head. "Well, I sure don't! Why does Wondergirl have to stay here, anyway?"  
  
Ritsuko started to argue back, but Misato stepped out from behind Shinji and looked down at Asuka. "Because as far as NERV, SEELE and all of Tokyo-3 are concerned, Rei died in Unit 00."  
  
"Which is true," Ritsuko went on. "Commander Ikari, Professor Fuyutsuki and I were the only three people privvy to Rei's... nature." Her face darkened as she took a sip of her coffee. "Four, if you count my mother."  
  
Shinji looked at Ritsuko quizzically. "But... if she..."  
  
Rei, who had remained silent during the exchange, finally spoke up. "I will explain, Pilot Ikari."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Has anyone seen Doctor Akagi?" Maya shouted out over NERV Command Center.  
  
Hyuuga and Aoba looked at each other for a moment, then Hyuuga shouted back. "She's been gone since 0400 hours, Maya... checking on one of the pilots over at Major Katsuragi's place."  
  
Ibuki sighed inwardly. "Well, when she comes in make sure to let her know her assistance is requested in Cage 07. I'm having trouble with repairs on Unit 01..."  
  
"Will do, Lieutenant," Commander Fuyutsuki replied from behind her.  
  
"Oh! Sir, I didn't know you were on the bridge."  
  
Fuyutsuki nodded firmly. "That's alright, Maya. What's the status of the other two EVA's?"  
  
"Umm... Unit 02 is combat ready, Sir. All systems are nominal. Unit 03 should be ready in a few moments... they're testing the systems now. Although I'm awaiting Doctor Akagi's verdict, my guess is she would recommend at least waiting for another activation test with Pilot Suzahara before sending it into the field."  
  
"Very well, Lieutenant. Inform Major Katsuragi to bring the Fourth Child in for tests immediately. We need all the Evangelions ready as soon as possible... especially considering the recent loss of Unit 00 and its pilot."  
  
Maya nodded curtly. "Right away, Sir."  
  
  
  
  
On the balcony of Misato Katsuragi's apartment, Asuka leaned heavily on the railing as she stared out at the horizon. Her yellow sun dress fluttered in the light breeze.  
  
"She really is a doll..."  
  
She couldn't believe what she'd heard from Ritsuko when she bolted in the door that morning, carrying Rei under her lab coat like a smuggler. She'd explained to Asuka quickly how a dead girl could be standing in her apartment. From the way she'd blurted out her plan, Asuka had realized that Ritsuko hadn't remembered Asuka was there. She was just an afterthought, and it was almost annoying to explain to yet another person that Rei was a clone.  
  
"I can't believe it... she really is a doll..." Asuka muttered to herself, staring blankly over the landscape. "And she's only alive because of Shinji..."  
  
The door slid open behind her, and before she could react, a hand grabbed her wrist. "Asuka, let's go!" Misato yelled as she pulled her into the apartment, car keys in hand.  
  
  
  
  
Toji Suzahara sat quietly in the entry plug of Unit 03. He'd done this only two days before, and he wasn't sure what would happen this time. However, he still felt he was living on borrowed time, having survived such a horrible first experience in an EVA. Knowing this, he chose to face his fate bravely. Besides, Kensuke would never shut up if he heard that Toji Suzahara had backed down from piloting an Evangelion.  
  
  
  
  
"Commencing A-10 nerve connection in three... two... one..."  
  
The indicator lights climbed inside the control box.  
  
"Nerve connection established. Evangelion Unit 03 has been activated."  
  
Ritsuko glanced warily at the monitors. "Any sign of contamination?"  
  
"Negative. All systems green, no external emissions detected," Aoba stated.  
  
A collective sigh filled the air of the control box. "Excellent. Inform the Commander Unit 03 is ready for combat."  
  
"Yes, Ma'am."  
  
"How do you feel, Toji?" Ritsuko asked over the comm as she lookedover at Unit 03's grim visage.  
  
"Fine... my head's still a little fuzzy, but I can see this time. Not like before... it felt like my body was buzzing last time."  
  
Ritsuko grimaced. "And you don't feel anything this time?"  
  
"Nope... nothing."  
  
Suddenly, a red warning flashed into one corner of the main monitor in front of Ritsuko, punctuated by a dull-sounding alarm.  
  
"Doctor! Recon has detected the 14th Angel! It's already broken through the Komagataki defense line!"  
  
"Get Unit 02 ready for launch, and move Unit 03 to launch bay immediately!"  
  
"What about Unit 01, Ma'am?" Hyuuga replied as he punched in commands to ready Unit 03.  
  
"Both the EVA and the pilot are unavailable... we'll have to make due with Units 02 and 03."  
  
A shout came over the comm from Unit 03's entry plug. "Hey! What's going on? It's moving!"  
  
"We're getting you ready for launch, Toji." Ritsuko answered quickly. "An Angel is approaching. I know you haven't had much training for combat yet, but besides you, all we have is Asuka for now... you think you can handle it?"  
  
Toji growled under his breath. "I have to fight with HER?!"  
  
"That wasn't the question, _pilot_," Misato shot back. "You're either ready for combat or you're not. Besides, you'd rather let Asuka win this one by herself?"  
  
Toji was silent for another moment.  
  
"All right... get me out there!"  
  
  
**************  
AUTHOR'S NOTES  
**************  
  
I'll start of by apologizing for the INCREDIBLY long time it took me to finish this. Part of that is because of the obvious FF.net server downtime, but I've also been going through some tough times of my own. Y'know, yadda yadda broke, blah blah homeless, etc etc.  
  
Anyway, I would like to hear from anyone who would enjoy pre-reading for me. Just to put it into perspective, I've had 2/3 of this Chapter ready for three weeks now... but I was pretty stuck. The doors are open, folks! Let me know!  
  
As a little aside, I just thought I'd mention that I'm trying desperately to keep away from the "fanboy japanese" that plagued my earlier (read: unpublished) works, ie. "Shinji-kun", "sempai", "baka!", and so on. It seems like everyone uses them, but I'm trying to stick to the format of the English Dub of the series. My less serious works (soon to be released!) will probably use it though.  
  
Stay tuned folks!  
  
-Mezzanine  
mezzanine@fanfiction.net  
  
NOTE: A NEON GENESIS EVANGELION fanfic.  
Rights belonging to GAINAX and AD Vision.  
Used without permission. 


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